


Fearlessly

by cafe_au_late



Series: recklessly, fearlessly (creative uses for a shield) [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, everyone that can be recruited has been recruited to the Black Eagles in this one, kind of angsty? not really though, more introspective than anything really, this is a sequel please read the first one so this one makes sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26647762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafe_au_late/pseuds/cafe_au_late
Summary: Edelgard knows fear.Fear is an excellent teacher and Edelgard is an excellent student. Edelgard allows fear to help her survive. She plans for each and every possibility, leaving nothing to chance. She could not afford such a risk. Everything she does is carefully calculated, there can be no mistakes. Fear demands such respect, such effort. Edelgard knows very well to listen.But then, Edelgard meets Byleth.With Byleth, Edelgard feels like she can let go of her fears. Its grip on her heart loosens. With Byleth, Edelgard feels fearless.ORThe three times that Edelgard falsely believes that she is fearless and the one time that Edelgard truly believes that she is.(Byleth agrees.)
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Series: recklessly, fearlessly (creative uses for a shield) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1938823
Comments: 5
Kudos: 127





	Fearlessly

**Author's Note:**

> This is the promised sequel to Recklessly! Exactly a year later! 
> 
> Happy 1 year anniversary my first fic in the FE3H fandom!
> 
> This fic will be a little bit confusing if you haven't read the first part so I highly recommend you read the first part :) (But also do what you like, live your best life :D )

Edelgard knows fear. 

The world is vast and dangerous. There is a lot to fear. It has been ingrained in her since she was young, imprisoned in the darkness. Fear was pervasive during those times. Fear of when she would next be dragged from her cell, in chains, to be laid out on a table. Fear of what the faceless, nameless, men in white would do to her. Fear of the punishment that her captors doled out readily for minor transgressions and sometimes for nothing at all.

Fear for her siblings, which only intensified as time went on, their screams dying to quiet whimpers and then finally to silence, until Edelgard had no more siblings to speak of.  
  


Nightmares still plague her- rats scurrying over her limbs, gnawing at her extremities. The harsh rattling of chains against damp stone walls, the soft cries in the darkness, the bone-shattering screams of pain. The darkness itself which closes over her head, weighing down on her- threatening to drown her like the ocean. The ocean itself, sucking her deeper into its bottomless depths.

Fear is an excellent teacher and Edelgard is an excellent student.

Edelgard learns what not to do to draw the ire of her tormentors. Edelgard learns that the world values crests more than they value lives and as long as she has a crest _(two crests)_ she would always be under the rule of a system which forces her to fit a mold she has no desire to be in. Edelgard learns that if she does not want to return to that dark cell, with the chains and the rats and the pain and the fear, then she should destroy the cell and all of which has put her there.

Since then, Edelgard allows fear to help her survive. She plans for each and every possibility, leaving nothing to chance. She could not afford such a risk. Everything she does is carefully calculated, there can be no mistakes. 

Fear demands such respect, such effort. Edelgard knows very well to listen.

But then, Edelgard meets Byleth.

With Byleth, Edelgard feels like she can let go of her fears. Its grip on her heart loosens. With Byleth, Edelgard feels fearless.

How wrong she is.

* * *

  
  


The first time that Edelgard falsely believes that she could be fearless is when she delays her retreat at the Holy Tomb. She had lost the battle here, she knows that but she can not help but wait for Byleth even as Byleth walks toward Edelgard with the Sword of the Creator raised.

It is a gamble to think that Byleth will join her. Edelgard knows that it might be foolish. For many nights, she mulled this decision over, trying to plan out every minute detail of how the raid on the Holy Tomb might go. Fear demands that she have a strategy and she needs to account for every possible scenario. 

If she wins the fight here, she could leave with everything that she came for but Byleth might side with the Archbishop or she could win and leave with both. She could lose but she could still cut her losses and retreat with whatever Crest stones she managed to gather and Byleth might follow her. Or worst case scenario, she loses and Byleth sides with the Archbishop.

Of course, all of these scenarios hinge on her survival. It would make sense to sound a hasty retreat and leave with whatever she had, life intact, instead of sticking around and giving Byleth or the Archbishop the opportunity to run her through with a sword.

Instead Edelgard stands there, axe embedded in the ground a few feet away from when Byleth disarmed her. Byleth bests her, again. No matter how many times Edelgard tries, Byleth always seems to be a few steps ahead of her. 

She ought to escape, Edelgard thinks as Byleth strides forward, ever closer, expression unreadable. There is no trace of emotion on her face. Blank. Is this what the Ashen Demon is like? 

Logically, she knows that she should feel some kind of fear as with Byleth staring down at her, steely eyed, Sword of the Creator pointed directly at her. Hubert would need at least a few seconds to teleport in and then teleport out. She is fast approaching the moment where it would be too late for her to escape. She ought to signal him now so that they could leave safely. In fact, she knows that she should have signalled him at least several moments ago.

But she could not bring herself to leave- chained to the spot by a question on her lips, a possibility she wants to reach for and for a brief moment she forgets about everything else. Perhaps it would be all worth it if she could even touch that possibility- even if it is a fleeting one.

Fear screams at her to move, to leave, to make her escape. She has a plan and she needs to stick to it, she knows. But staring into Byleth’s eyes, Edelgard feels no fear. There is a rush of something exhilarating in her chest, something that promises freedom. 

All the possibilities, all the futures, the dream that she had carried for so long, she is ready to throw everything away for this.

And for a second,a voice inside of her screams at her that this is all for naught. That she should have listened to her fears instead of brushing them aside. That she should have fled when she had the chance.

But Byleth’s eyes warm, there’s a familiar sense of determination in them and then Byleth is turning, sword raised to protect Edelgard instead. 

Byleth is their beloved professor after all, and who would Edelgard be but a mad tyrant, vying for absolute power over all of Fodlan? Edelgard does not expect Byleth to walk with her, even though she has dreamed of this outcome all the same. Edelgard did not expect the rest of the Black Eagles to join Byleth, to join her- even all of the other students who transferred in part way through the year, deer and lions taking on mantles of black feathers, leaving behind all they had to soar with her.

Fear is an excellent teacher, and Edelgard is an excellent student. This time, fear is wrong.

Edelgard’s heart rises on wings that she did not know she had.

The rest of that battle passes Edelgard by in a blur. All that she can remember is being stunned that Byleth actually chose her. By the time that her mind is functioning properly again, she and Hubert have reconvened back at her private tent, crowded around a wooden table covered in documents and maps. 

“You deviated from the plan,” Hubert states. His tone is not accusatory, but merely that. A statement. He takes a piece of her armour from her hands as she begins to take the suit of metal off.

It would definitely need some repairs, Edelgard notes as Hubert turns the chipped metal plate over in his hands. Byleth did a number on her during that fight but fortunately, the armour had taken the brunt of it. 

“I did,” Edelgard replies, wincing as she stretches to unclasp the last piece of her armour. Now onto the boots. She stares forlornly at them. They seem so far away.

“Did you not fear that I would not make it to you in time if...?” The rest of the sentence goes unspoken but Edelgard understands all the same. If Byleth had not chosen her and stood with Rhea instead. Hubert makes two piles with all the armour pieces. Ones that could go into the chest at the foot of her bed and the other that would have to be sent off for repairs, deep gouges and missing pieces marring the once flawless set.

“I knew that you would make it. You are never late, Hubert,” Edelgard sighs and reaches down to begin taking off the armoured boots. “If I let fear dictate _all_ my actions, then who is the Emperor of Adrestria? Me or fear?” 

“Forgive me, my lady. I do not mean to question your decisions. ” Hubert bows deeply at the waist. He remains in this position, head lowered as he continues to speak to her. “I am just concerned for your safety.”

“It is alright, Hubert,” Edelgard grunts as she finally removes both boots. “Besides, all of those tales of old depicted hero-kings as the fearless sort. I do not see why I cannot be the same.” The feelings that she faced when faced with Byleth and the tip of the Sword of the Creator- she could walk out of fear’s shadow, she knows it.

Hubert leaves her alone after that, taking the damaged pieces of her armour with him. Edelgard spots Byleth sitting out by the fire, staring blankly up at the stars, and she cannot help herself but to wander out to her side.

“Edelgard,” Byleth murmurs, eyes never leaving the stars. 

“My teacher…” Edelgard finds herself at a loss for words suddenly. There is so much that she wants to say, but nothing is coming out. “Thank you for everything.” Edelgard settles on finally.

“Of course, you are my student, Edelgard. Though I suppose that title no longer quite fits. You are the emperor after all. My emperor?” Byleth frowns and finally turns her eyes to look over at Edelgard as if she could find the answer to her question in Edelgard’s eyes.

Edelgard’s heart skips a beat, and the motion seems to shake something loose from within her. Words that she has thought about saying for a long time but never had the courage to express, breaks free of the prison that she keeps them locked up in.

These words that Edelgard wants to give Byleth finally take flight but whatever fearlessness she had earlier evaporates, leaving her gaping at Byleth. Edelgard reaches and reaches and reaches but that feeling from earlier slips through her fingers like water. The words fall somewhere between her heart and her lips, fear seizing them with a crushing grip and dragging them back to her heart, back to the cage among her ribs.

“Just Edelgard is fine. Goodnight, my teacher.” Edelgard turns on her heel and retreats to the safety of her tent, somewhere where Byleth’s eyes do not pierce right through her.

Perhaps fear is right.

Fearless? 

  
What a foolish idea.

Edelgard buries those words in a grave after the Black Eagle Strike Force retakes Garreg Mach.

* * *

The second time that Edelgard falsely believes that she is fearless is when she dives after Byleth into the unwavering might of an avalanche that threatens to wash her into snowy oblivion.

There are rumours of a Demonic Beast up in the mountains near Edmund territory. It is a slow trek up the snowy mountain. The terrain is too difficult to bring a sizable force with them, so just the Black Eagles Strike Force that goes to investigate. 

It seems simple enough at first, find the Demonic Beast, assess the situation, eliminate the threat. There’s a small village about halfway up the mountain that they rest up in after slogging through the knee deep snow,driving snow. The Black Eagles divide up into smaller groups, the worst looking ones off to rest immediately, while others divide up even further to check the perimeter of the village, and more to check on the state of the village and supplies. This was not technically part of the Adrestrian Empire, but Edelgard still feels that they should do their best to care for the people who so graciously offered these strangers warmth and shelter.

Any additional information they could offer about the Demonic Beast that was supposedly hiding nearby would also be welcome.

Edelgard joins the second group checking the perimeter. While she feels tired, she has to make sure that everything is well herself. It is not that she does not trust the other Black Eagles- they have proven themselves time and time again to be trustworthy and valuable companions, but this is more for her own peace of mind.

Fear asks her, how can she properly account for every scenario if you have not gone to see the environment yourself? So Edelgard goes, trudging beside Byleth, Hubert and Ferdinand off in one direction as another group heads off in the opposite direction. 

It is hard to see anything, just blinding white that stretches on forever. The wind sprays shards of ice into their face, making it even more difficult to get a clear view of anything.

So when a giant dark claw reaches out of the snow, Edelgard barely has enough time to bring her shield up against it. 

The Demonic Beast surges upwards, sending the thick layer of snow that it had been hiding under flying everywhere. How long has it been lying there in wait? 

Byleth charges forward, Sword of the Creator flashing red as she lashed out at it. The snow sizzles, turning into steam as Byleth cleaves a path toward it.

The Demonic Beast is terrifying, all fangs and claws, frost clinging to its fur as it meets Byleth head on. Edelgard follows close behind, the snow is hard to move in and with every step she takes, she sinks further and further down. By the time she actually makes contact with the Demonic Beast, she is panting with exertion, Aymr glancing off of its claws. To her satisfaction though, she can see that her strike has chipped part of the claw.

Ferdinand rushes at the creature trying to find some kind of weak spot with his lance, even without his steed , he is relentless. The frozen hide proves to be a challenge to pierce through and Ferdinand is batted away with a grunt. Edelgard does not have the time to see if Ferdinand is okay as a giant tail sweeps forward underneath the snow. Edelgard meets it with her shield, digging in with the edge as far down as she kind. There is no purchase against the icy rock and Edelgard finds herself sliding backwards.

She looks up in time to see Hubert and Byleth make a two pronged pincering attack. Hubert harasses it from a distance with magic drawing its attention away from Byleth, who leaps up with a hand glowing red hot with a spell. 

The Demonic Beast does not respond in time, too busy fending off Hubert’s attacks. All it can do is look up, eyes wide and maw gaping as Byleth launches a fiery blast of magic at it. The blast disappears, swallowed by the Demonic Beast and Edelgard readies herself to charge. Somewhere to her left, she can sense Ferdinand picking himself up out of the snow.

Byleth rolls into a crouched position, breathing hard. Fighting in this powdery snow is tiring and none of them are quite used to such a feat. 

There is a moment of silence before the Demonic Beast begins convulsing, a red glow emanating from its chest. Different parts of its body begins bulging outwards and then snapping back into its original form, like something inside of it is trying to escape. The force of its convulsions throws it off balance and it stumbles backwards a few steps as it fights to regain control of itself.

“Move! We have to move!!” Byleth yells suddenly, looking significantly more exhausted than she was mere seconds ago. Edelgard ducks behind her shield in time for the Demonic Beast to finally stop convulsing. The combination of the slippery terrain and its earlier motions is enough to make it flail wildly for a moment before falling sideways with an echoing whumpf.

Edelgard pauses, looking confused as to why Byleth is so insistent on them moving when this seems like an excellent opportunity to press their attack. 

There’s a low rumble as the snow beneath the creature suddenly breaks off. What appears to be a solid chunk of snow rapidly crumbles into a wave of loose powder.

Whatever words Byleth says next is lost as the wave slams into her with full force, and Byleth is gone, sucked into the avalanche. The Demonic Beast falls with the snow, nothing left to support its weight once the shelf underneath it gave way.

This is not what Edelgard expected at all. Even so, fear drives her a few steps back, away from the falling snow. Fear has her pulling a desperate plan of escape out of her back pocket. Fear knows that situations like this is why Hubert always travelled with her. Hubert who could blink them away in an instant. Hubert is always ready for such a contingency.

But Edelgard does not follow this plan.

“Hubert get Ferdinand out of here!” Edelgard strains to be heard over the dull roar of the avalanche. They are far enough away that the edges of the cascade lick at their boots, threatening to pull them in but otherwise unmoved. 

“I am not leaving you behind!” Hubert yells as he hauls Ferdinand to his feet. The other man is cradling his ribs gingerly with one arm, the other using Hubert as a crutch.

“Do as I say Hubert!” Edelgard shouts over her shoulder and then throws herself after the avalanche, using her shield as a sled.

Edelgard knows that avalanches are dangerous. And even riding after one could prove to be just as deadly as being caught up in one. 

Fear tells her that this is dangerous, this is foolish. Fear tells her that she ought to pull to the side and find shelter. Fear scolds her for leaving Hubert behind when he was the ticket to safety. 

Edelgard cannot hear those fears over the roar of blood in her ears. All she feels is just some kind of twisted exhilaration at hurtling down this steep slope on her shield, a steely determination to find Byleth. There is a freeing feeling in her chest that she grabs a hold of and wraps tightly around her shoulders. 

Nothing else matters.

She cannot lose Byleth again.

Aymr is pressed tightly across the length of the shield, acting as a bar that she could use to help balance as she leaned from side to side to dodge trees. She can catch glimpses of the Demonic Beast, tumbling within the avalanche just ahead of her. 

There is a flash of mint green, and Edelgard hones in a flailing Byleth, desperately trying to stay on top of the snow and not be buried in it. Byleth has somehow tumbled across the slope so that she’s on the far side, away from Edelgard. That means that Edelgard would have to cut across the center of the avalanche. Edelgard leans heavily to one side, away from the avalanche so that she has a sharp enough angle to cut across the avalanche with, A deep breath in and she dives across the mountainside towards Byleth.

The spray of icy snow that kicks up as she crosses the path of the avalanche makes her wince, the sheer force of it nearly knocks her off her shield. She fights to remain on top of it, the metal coasting across the powder with ease.

“Byleth!” Edelgard yells and Byleth’s head snaps up to look over at her in shock. 

She is going to miss Byleth, Edelgard realizes. The shield cuts through the avalanche far faster than Byleth is being carried, Edelgard will soon be too far away and the thin patch of trees ahead of her will thwart her attempts at making a second try.

“Reach for me!” The shield wobbles dangerously as Edelgard raises Aymr in Byleth’s direction with one hand, hoping Byleth will understand. Her grip tightens on the edge of the shield, fingers numb from the cold and exhaustion.

Byleth does understand and the whiplike Sword of the Creator reaches out to wrap tightly around Aymr. The force of the two relics meeting nearly throws Edelgard off balance but she holds on, grunting as she hauls Byleth after her with one arm. 

They careen wildly towards the thin patch of trees, the shield tipping to one side and then the next as the avalanche rumbles behind them and then after them as their movement dislodges another precariously balanced shelf of snow. The snow below them and behind them is shifting, threatening to swallow them up as they zip past it. Edelgard would not be able to outrun this, especially not with Byleth dragging behind her. 

Byleth slams into Edelgard’s back with an “oomph!” as Edelgard gives one final yank on Aymr, arm muscles burning with exertion. Fortunately, Byleth is able to carefully angle their entangled relics away from their bodies.

“Over there!” Byleth points toward a large rocky outcropping jutting out into the sky just below them.

Wind whips past Edelgard’s reddened face as they follow the path of the mountain downwards on the shield, toward the rocks. They practically fling themselves underneath the overhang, rolling to try to cushion the impact- most of which is absorbed by their armour and winter gear. There is definitely going to be some spectacular bruising come tomorrow morning.

Breathless, they lay there, huddled tightly against each other and the cold rock wall, relics and shield forgotten beside them as the avalanche roars around them.

Edelgard finds Byleth watching her with a peculiar expression on her face. “What is it?”

“Thank you for coming after me.” Byleth finally says, smile breaking over her face. “It must have been a difficult choice, running after me into such danger. I am sorry that I put you in such a spot.”

Edelgard falls silent for a moment, mulling the thoughts over in her head. Truthfully, it was not a difficult choice at all. Danger or not, Edelgard would have gone after Byleth time and time again. 

Something about Byleth makes Edelgard believe that she could do anything- including sledding across an avalanche. There is no need for contingencies, for layers upon layers of back up plans based upon thousands of what ifs. With Byleth, Edelgard knows she can do anything, the matter is simply doing it.

“You would have done the same for me,” Edelgard replies. She takes the opportunity to study Byleth, trying to find the reason why Byleth makes her feel like this.

“I would,” Byleth nods solemnly, with such conviction and a faraway look in her eyes that Edelgard feels like Byleth really has plucked her out of an avalanche, buoying her tired wings on gentle updrafts. And perhaps Byleth has done such. “You are… my… Edelgard.” Byleth pauses, frowning, confused. “My emperor.” She corrects herself. “You have grown so much.”

“Oh? How so?” Edelgard asks, intrigued. 

“You are much stronger. An excellent leader… brave… fearless,” Byleth mumbles.

“You are freezing!” Edelgard blurts out suddenly. The way that Byleth shivers in her armour, the pale skin, and blue lips finally all click together. Byleth is clearly trying her best to hide this fact from Edelgard, pretending that nothing was wrong at all. 

“I will be alright.” Byleth insists. 

Edelgard tsks and undoes the red cloak around her shoulders. In the small space, it is difficult to maneuver but Edelgard manages to wrap it snugly around Byleth’s shoulders. “The cold really has it out for you, my teacher,” Edelgard chides gently as Byleth squirms for a second. 

“You will be cold too,” Byleth turns so that they are both lying on their sides now, facing each other and Edelgard finds herself wrapped up in Byleth’s embrace, their metal armour clanking noisily against each other. Neither of them have the energy or dexterity to try to deal with it right now.

Byleth murmurs something unintelligible and Edelgard feels warmth emanating from between them. She looks down, her crown pressing against the top of Byleth’s head, to see Byleth cradling a fire spell in one hand, the other stretched out under Edelgard’s head.

Edelgard’s heart flutters with something that she has long thought that she has buried. Words which threaten to spill from her heart, coming alive again with the breath from her lips. Edelgard tries to summon that freeing feeling that she felt earlier, trying to find the exhilaration in saying these words but fear has a stranglehold on her again, screaming doubly loud now. In removing her cloak, she has seemingly removed the feeling that she tied so tightly around her shoulders.

Try as she might, the words never make it. She cannot summon up that same feeling in her heart again that had carried her to Byleth’s side. 

Those words are shot out of the air with a sharp pang of fear, of anxiety, and it's broken corpse slammed into a casket. There is too much to lose, too much to fear, she can not say those words. Having Byleth here with her would be enough. 

The Black Eagle Strike Force finds them a few hours later after the avalanche has long passed, wrapped up against each other. The unnatural creature that is the Demonic Beast has long been carried away by the avalanche, buried under tons of snow.

Fearless?

Not even close.

Edelgard leaves those words buried there with it.

* * *

  
  


The third time that Edelgard falsely believes that she could be fearless is after Byleth throws herself off of a cliff to save Edelgard’s life. The blast of magic that carries her back up the face of the cliff is enough to knock the wind out of her as Byleth rockets off in the opposite direction, using her own life as a springboard so that Edelgard could reach ever higher, ever further.

The resulting explosion can be heard clear across the battlefield. Enemies and allies alike turn to see the giant plume of fire and smoke rocket up from over the edge of the cliff. Hubert and Ingrid, both of whom have continued rushing to the edge after watching both the Emperor and their professor go off the side, fight to reach the actual edge and see what was happening.

Seconds later, a charred Edelgard, carrying the remnants of a shield came soaring out of the smoke. She looked worse for wear but largely unharmed, the shield having taken the brunt of the Ragnarok spell. Turning on a dime, Ingrid urged her pegasus upward, catching her mid-flight. “Byleth, you have to catch Byleth! Please, I can not lose her! You have to save her!” 

“Lady Edelgard, I have to set you down first. I can not take more than one passenger at a time.” Ingrid draws her lips into a thin line, flinching as a second explosion rocked the cliff. 

Edelgard barely has her feet on the ground before Ingrid takes off again, practically throwing Edelgard’s form at Hubert. Edelgard watches as Ingrid takes a steep dive through the growing cloud of smoke, to the bottom of the cliff. Hubert’s expression is grim as he finishes dispatching any immediate enemies with a miasma. It takes all of his strength to grab onto Edelgard and prevent her from joining Byleth in doing something utterly foolish.

“Ingrid is our best flier. You need to have faith in her, my lady.”

Edelgard collapses onto her knees. There is no way down to the bottom by foot, not while there was a battle raging around them. Maybe she could fight her way to the bottom? She goes to pick up her axe, only to realize that in the chaos of it all, she has lost Aymr, probably dropped it when Byleth- she can not even bring herself to think about what has happened.

Fear screams at her that she should have prepared for everything. 

The sad, remorseful look that the professor gave her as the spell was cast. Byleth’s last words to her. 

At least she has those. 

It is a pathetic ‘at least’. 

She does not want those last words without Byleth. 

It is like when Edelgard lost Byleth five years ago all over again. Edelgard crumples into Hubert’s arms. 

The battle grinds to a halt shortly after that. The Kingdom soldiers are surprised by the explosions and the Black Eagle Strike Force uses that to their advantage, pressing forward and eliminating the majority of their enemies. The remainder of the Kingdom soldiers decide to flee, seeing how their ambush has seemingly failed. 

As the Black Eagle Strike Force gathers around Hubert and Edelgard at the cliff’s edge, word spreads quickly about what has transpired. With the rest of her friends behind her, Edelgard composes herself, wiping away tears with bloody hands. She gets up and with Hubert at her side, one hand on his arm, begins to make her way down the cliff face. Petra, aboard her wyvern, also takes off. Dorothea sits behind her, arms wrapped tightly around the Brigid princess’ waist.

Ingrid meets them at the bottom. They all stand there, aghast, huddled together against the harsh sea spray and the chill of the setting sun. Petra and Dorothea are still struggling to sweep back and forth across the open water. Ingrid looks absolutely exhausted. Both her and her pegasus are soaking wet. The winds down at the base of the cliff tosses the fliers around like ragdolls, making it near impossible to fly in a straight line. 

Marianne rushes to Ingrid’s side to help her down off her pegasus while Leonie helps dry off the distressed pegasus. “I’m sorry, Lady Edelgard.” Ingrid shakes her head, she is held up mostly by Marianne, voice barely above a whisper.

“Set up camp in one of the caves, we are in no shape to move.” Edelgard orders, mustering the last of her strength into sounding her usual commanding self. They need a strong leader right now. They need order. 

They need Byleth.

Edelgard almost crumples to the ground with that thought but she steels herself. She has to stand tall. She has to stand proud even as fear whispers in her ears. She should be thinking of what to do next. There is an entire war that still needs to be won. An army of thousands of soldiers awaiting her next orders. Supply lines to maintain, equipment to stock. 

They lose people all the time, Edelgard thinks of Ladislava and Randolph, buried at Garreg Mach. This is a war.

Fear berates her for getting so attached to Byleth. 

Edelgard ignores the gnawing worry in the pit of her stomach and presses on, head held high. No matter how she tries summon that 

The Black Eagle Strike Force looks at each other. They were all there when Edelgard has lost Byleth the first time. They expect desperation and screaming. They are not sure what to do with this Edelgard.

“Please see to it, Hubert.” Edelgard tells her retainer when none of the other Black Eagles move. Hubert nods as she walks away, down the rocky outcroppings and beaches. She does not care if the rest of the Black Eagles follow her. She would find Byleth. She can not lose her again.

In the end, none of the Black Eagles actually stay at the designated campsite. They are all eager to locate their beloved professor. Even Ingrid, as exhausted as she was, walks along, using Marianne as a crutch. 

The sun has long set, torches are lit, magical light is summoned. They focus their search around the large pile of rocks in the shallows.. It appears newly formed, the edges still sharp and jagged. Hubert has noted that there was a sizable chunk of the cliff face missing about halfway down. The area around the missing chunk appears to be marred by scorch marks as well. This is the target of the second explosion they heard. Perhaps their professor has been caught among the falling rocks and gotten trapped under the debris.

Edelgard gives the dark waters a wide berth. She can hear the ripple of fear lapping against the rocks, constantly reminding her of its presence. There is no escaping it, fear murmurs to her. The ocean is a dark and dangerous place. Even feeling the waves lap against her boots sets Edelgard’s teeth on edge as if at any moment now, the waters would rise and drag her away. 

They spend the majority of the night moving aside the rubble. Piece by piece, until arms can not lift any more and hands are all shredded and torn. When it becomes evident that Byleth was not under the rocks, they turn their exhausted attention elsewhere, searching the caves and rock formations along the bottom of the cliff. Perhaps their professor got swept up in the waves earlier and deposited into one of the many recesses that marred the area. Perhaps she is too injured to cry out for help, to respond to their calls.

Edelgard leads the search, every nook and cranny along the beach investigated thoroughly. She is drained but still she plows on. She can still remember the last time that she lost Byleth and she can not bear to go through that again. 

A hand on her arm pulls her out of her haze. She looks up, staring dumbly at Ferdinand. He offers her a badly damaged Aymr that he has just pulled from the rocks.

The relic survived the fall. 

Edelgard stares at it, willing herself to respond, to take up her weapon again. But she can not. Her arms do not respond.

Hubert comes to her rescue instead, his hands gripping the broken handle with a solemn nod. He understands.

Edelgard does not want the axe back, she wants Byleth.

She turns away from it, suddenly very tired but she continues on anyway.

The sun is rising when Edelgard hears the wyvern’s cries. It is not Petra’s, who’s exhausted beast is so tired that it simply lays there on the rocks, dozing. A large, white wyvern rounds the edge of the cliff. Edelgar can feel members of the Black Eagle Strike force tense around her, readying themselves for a fight. There is a splash of yellow and pink atop the wyvern, and sandwiched between them is a little dash of green. 

_Byleth._

Edelgard feels her heart rise up her throat. Her chest feels heavy. Is Byleth alright? She has to be. 

The wyvern is rapidly losing altitude, her wings beating in a lopsided rhythm against harsh headwinds that Edelgard knows that in a best case scenario will end with the beast sinking into the waters, worst case, dashed against the rocks in a broken and bloody mess.

Armoured boots clank loud against the rocks, moving before Edelgard can even fully process it herself because what is she going to do, catch the wyvern?

The yells of the other Black Eagles do not register in her mind at all. The whispers of fear are blown away with the wind that whips around all the loose strands of hair that has fallen out of her crown. She has to do this. In the back of her mind she knows that this is still an ocean that she is facing. She knows that she should be afraid, the reality of drowning is mere steps away. 

Edelgard reaches into herself and finally grasps that freeing feeling where all of her fears fall away again. That rush of adrenaline and freedom and fearlessness.

The freezing water numbs her legs as she splashes into the waters, throwing herself forward at the incoming beast.

Multiple hands grab at her and she fights her way past them. There is more splashing in the water behind her but it does not matter to her. She has to reach Byleth. 

The wyvern skims the water with its claws and then its legs and its hindquarters, unable to keep in the air for much longer. It looks like the wyvern is more swimming than flying now, doing its best to keep its own head and precious cargo out of the water. The shock of the icy water is not helping things either. The beast is on a direct course with Edelgard. The drag of the water slows the wyvern down so that it is little faster than a gently rolling cart by the time it actually reaches Edelgard.

The water is nearly chest deep. This is far deeper than Edelgard has ever gone in any body of water that is not a bath. Ordinarily being even up to her calves in water would send her mind into a panicking spiral but her mind is focused on Byleth, her muscles ready as she moves to meet the wyvern.

Every muscle in her body screams in protest as she hooks cracked gauntlets underneath the wyvern’s wings and begins dragging the exhausted creature back towards the shore. It is a struggle against the tides which pull against their efforts and her own fatigue but all she can see is the limp and bloody form of Byleth up in the saddle. Her boots slip against the rocky ocean floor and for a second Edelgard thinks that the weight of the wyvern would crush her into the waters but several hands are suddenly at her back, steadying her as even more hands grab hold of the wyvern and join her efforts.

Edelgard turns to find the rest of the Black Eagles around her, taking the weight off of her shoulders. The feelings of gratitude and relief are overwhelming and if this ocean does not sweep her off her feet then perhaps these emotions will.

Even with everyone’s help and the wyvern scrabbling weakly at the ground, it still takes them several long and arduous moments before the wyvern is safely on the shore.

Claude and Hilda look equally battered and bruised as they slide out of the saddle soaking wet and sluggish. There is that same old smile on Claude’s face though- it still does not quite reach his eyes. Hilda’s forehead is creased with worry, her usually immaculate appearance was sullied by streaks of dirt and a few scrapes.

Between them is the limp form of their professor. 

Edelgard rushes to their side, sliding to a stop on her knees before Byleth, as Claude and Hilda gently lower her to the ground.

“Byleth! Byleth?” Edelgard cradles her professor's broken body to her own. There is no response. Her skin was clammy to the touch, her left hand a mangled mess of burnt flesh. Scrapes and cuts dot her body, the light armour she wore all but shredded.

Edelgard’s heart leaps up into her throat. She can not be too late. She can not accept that. She can not bury Byleth like she has buried those words before. 

“Hilda and I aren’t very good with healing, but we did our best. The winds were really bad last night and we got blown out to one of the little islands.” Claude looked apologetic, even he did not have much to say.

There is a wave of green magic that slowly begins to cover Byleth’s form. Then a second wave, and another, and even more. Edelgard was vaguely aware of all the healers within the Black Eagle Strike force summoning the last of their reserves and murmuring healing spell after healing spell. The scrapes and burns sizzle as flesh stitches itself back together under the guidance of the healing magic. Byleth’s hand regrows destroyed ligaments and skin, returning it to its proper form in a fascinating but horrifying display of magic. There would be no calluses on this freshly healed hand, but that would be a small price to pay.

Edelgard breathes a sigh of relief. The idea of losing Byleth again is terrifying. 

Once the healers are certain that Byleth is stable, just unconscious, and everyone is decently rested, do they begin the trek back up the cliff and back towards Garreg Mach. It is a choice that gnaws at Edelgard. Fear of losing Byleth insists that they ought to rush back to Garreg Mach immediately where they can better treat Byleth but a look at the sorry state that everyone is in leaves a sinking fear in the bottom of Edelgard’s stomach. If they are ambushed again, that will spell disaster. 

Edelgard hoists Byleth up onto her back, refusing to let the other woman go for even a moment for fear of her just disappearing again. 

Hubert falls into step beside her, still holding the broken Aymr. He helps her pick her way back up the cliff face at the head of the group. “You rushed into the ocean.” He helps her over a particularly rock in their path. When she does not respond, too focused on putting one foot in front of the other, he continues, “In full plate armour. Knowing full well you can not swim. You have nightmares about the ocean.”

“Yes.” Edelgard finally huffs, shifting the too-still Byleth on her back to a more comfortable position. 

“...Forgive me if this seems forward, my lady…” Hubert hesitates, eyes flicking between Edelgard’s lilac ones and the unconscious Byleth on Edelgard’s back.

“Just spit it out, Hubert.” Edelgard sighs impatiently. She was rarely in a mood to deal with formalities and hidden meanings and she certainly was in no mood to deal with it now. 

“If past events have taught me anything, it seems that you become increasingly more…” Hubert pauses, even with Edelgard’s permission he still seems hesitant to say the words on the tip of his tongue. Edelgard shoots him a sharp glare, indicating that he should finish the thought that he has started. “I remember once you told me that you would be the same as past hero-kings, fearless.”

Edelgard nods, she vaguely recalls having this conversation with Hubert a long time ago.

“But forgive my saying so, my lady. But I think that fearless would not be the right word to use. I think that you may be rather ironically... reckless when it comes to matters involving the professor.” Hubert keeps his eyes averted even as he helps her over another large boulder. “You have every right to be angry with the professor over this, given her current state and tendency for these things to go more terribly with her than with you. But I do not think you are too different.”

It's like somebody has dumped a bucket of cold water over her head as Edelgard stares at Hubert, almost tripping over a dip in the ground. All those times that Edelgard has chastised Byleth races through her mind.

Could Hubert be right about this? 

Edelgard thinks back to all those times that she had been so sure about fear, about that feeling that she always tried to grasp but could never until she was too close to the edge, tumbling over into vulnerable uncertainty. The sound of blood rushing in her ears, the roar of adrenaline in her veins- no, that is not fearlessness. 

She understands now- Hubert’s words a blinding light on her path. That is desperation. That was when she felt like she had no other choice but to make the one that she did. That reckless dive headfirst into the unknown toward Byleth, after Byleth. 

The revelation stuns her momentarily, making her stop in her tracks. Hubert nearly stumbles next to her, caught off guard by the sudden stop. 

No wonder she could never summon up that feeling so that she could say those buried words to Byleth. What kind of person would use _desperation_ to say those words? She wants to laugh and cry at how foolish she has been all along but she has the energy to do neither, so she puts her head down and keeps walking. Her feelings simmer lowly at the base of her chest.

The realization that fear would continue holding her hostage weighs down on Edelgard far heavier than the life on her back or the lives that follow her into war.

Fearless.

That would never be her.

The words that she has tried to bury time and time again have never stayed buried, Edelgard realizes. She can not leave them behind, and they will not leave her alone. 

* * *

“Edelgard?”

Edelgard turns, tearing her eyes away from staring at the bustling city of Enbarr all around them. She finds Byleth leaning against the doorway to the balcony, smiling softly. 

Her hair has long returned to its natural teal colour and she wears peacetime on her shoulders as easily as wears armour. It suits her, Edelgard thinks, returning Byleth’s smile with one of her own. 

“My- Byleth,” Edelgard fumbles over the words even though the ring that Byleth gave her has made its home on her finger for quite some time now. She is still trying to get used to calling Byleth by only her name out loud. 

Byleth’s smile only grows wider and she reaches out for Edelgard’s hands. “You looked like you were deep in thought.”

Edelgard reaches out to pull Byleth closer, out of the shade of the doorframe and into the sunshine with her. “I’m thinking about what I will do now, what I will do next.”

Byleth hums thought fully as she steps into Edelgard’s space. Her eyes never leave Edelgard’s, her fingers finding the ring on her finger and toying with it idly. “And what will you do next, my fearless leader?”

“I don’t know yet.” Edelgard blushes and smacks Byleth lightly on the bicep. It is a silly nickname that Byleth has seemingly picked up from Caspar and Sylvain. It always dug at her even though she tried her best to ignore it. 

“You don’t like that nickname?” It is astonishing how quickly Byleth has learned to read some of Edelgard’s more hidden feelings like an open book. 

“...It’s not that I don’t like it.” Edelgard says after a long moment of deliberation. She has long come to terms with her decisions and the different conflicting emotions that drive her from within. Even after all this time, with the ring on her finger and the reassurance of Byleth’s feelings, the words still refuse to budge, following her around like a spectre with unfulfilled final wishes. Byleth understands though, smiling and acknowledging the words that refuse to be said. She understands the depths of Edelgard’s feelings and the depths to which those words have once been buried.

“I just feel like I do not deserve such a name,” Edelgard sighs. 

“Why ever not?” Byleth is curious but her gaze betrays no judgment. 

Edelgard’s resolve crumbles. She has not talked about this at length to anyone ever since she made the realization that fateful night. It makes her feel like a fraud. “Every time that I thought that I was fearless... I was just being reckless.” Edelgard admits, averting her eyes from Byleth’s piercing gaze. “I have nearly lost you far too many times, and in my desperation, I acted recklessly.” 

Byleth chuckles and the sound lifts not only Edelgard’s eyes back to Byleth’s face but her spirits as well. “ _Reckless_ , you say hmmm.”

“I know, I know!” Edelgard grouses. “Laugh all you want.”

“I’m sorry, I could not resist.” Byleth teases and pulls Edelgard into a hug. “I think you are fearless all the same.”  
  
“You do not have to lie to me, m-Byleth.” Edelgard mumbles. The war is over and Edelgard is no longer some frail young girl trying to survive in a harsh and cruel world. She does not need sugar coated words to make her feel better, no matter how sweet they might be.

“I am not lying!” Byleth insists, pulling back from the hug slightly to look Edelgard in the eyes. “You are by far, the most fearless person I have met. There are very few who would do what you have done. You have overthrown an age old system to make way for a brighter future. You have faced countless dangers, fought in a war, won the war. If there is anybody who is fearless, Edelgard, it's you.” 

Byleth looks at her like she has put all the stars in the sky. There is a pride and such conviction written on byleth’s face that Edelgard feels like her soul might actually catch fire with the force of Byleth’s belief. 

Fear has taught her, and fear has taught her well. Fear asks her to oversee the country that she fought so hard to free. Fear asks her to make sure that her legacy will not be for naught. Fear has helped her survive for this long. A part of it will always follow her around, the lessons ingrained in her very being but she is _not_ that young girl trying to survive in a harsh and cruel world.

The world that she has fought a war for is brighter now, she is older and stronger now. So Edelgard turns to it, and thanks it and bids it on its way. There is no need for its teachings any more. 

Strength rises in Edelgard. A freeing feeling, one that Edelgard knows instinctively that if she were to reach for it, she would be able to find it again. 

“I think I know what I would like to do next.”

Byleth beams and motions for her to continue.

“I am going to abdicate the throne. The new council will be elected in a few months. Once they are settled, they can make all the governing decisions. There will be no need for an emperor. This land and the people will be free.”

“Oh? Now that is a truly fearless choice.” Byleth’s eyes twinkle with mirth. “And what will you be once you are no longer the emperor?” 

Edelgard takes a deep breath and smiles at Byleth. The words blossom easily across her lips and she breathes life into their spectral form at last. “I will be fearlessly in love with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> This fic has plagued me for nearly a year now, starting with the cliff scene written from Edelgard's POV that I ended up cutting from Recklessly. Since then, I have rewritten this thing seven times each with a different adverb as the title/ theme before finally settling on fearlessly like...the Sunday before this was posted so its been a whirlwind writing it in time so that I could actually post it on the actual one year anniversary of this fic!
> 
> Stylistically this is very different from Recklessly- I tried writing it more like Recklessly in my first few drafts but it just wasn't working. Switching over to present tense definitely solved some of the issues I was running into- weirdly enough. But I am quite pleased with the end product here. Its not perfect, but I know that if I keep picking at this I'm going to end up deleting it and starting over again and I am already so behind on my new heist AU chapter that I cannot lmao
> 
> But yeah! This is my gift to y'all and a lil celebration of the fic that got me started writing again after several years of just nothing. (And also yeeted me into a rad fandom where I've met some wonderful people (some of whom I love dearly you absolute nerds)). 
> 
> This is getting quite long - just like this sequel has turned out to be. You can come find me on twitter and scream about things at bardigrade. I love meeting new people and making new friends!
> 
> Thank you for reading! As always, comments and kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> Stay safe and see you soon? <3


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